Fear

Im so mad that im tired and wanna write this

■ The next day ■

We started the end of our night with a kiss
The craving the want to feel and the need to be touched
You told me that this could not be
leaving like it wasnt easy
But was it
I feel like I need the fight
I needed you to turn around
I went to bed sad angry and empty so many question running rapid in my head
Am I enough will there ever be that one person that can not resist leaving no matter what is going on
I know that the ending of anything is hard confusing and hurtful
I wish i knew how to put distance between us
to let her heal if thats what she needs
a dear friend told me that she could be afraid to hurt me
the truth hurts, sometimes its what you need
the resistence and the rejection of someone strikes the heart and insults the skin begging to feel
the look that says i need you is shunned and placed upon the non response of anothers actions
was it not conveyed in the kiss or the despair seen in the eyes
my words may never say it but my actions may be screaming as loud as possible
am i selfish to feel in such a way
did I miss the things you needed
its not the intimacy its feeling her in my arms
the feel of her wanting to just be
I have failed in times b4, putting my needs b4 theirs
I am trying to not be that person to be selfless is what i am after
She is my whole world
I am in love with her and she has no idea
I feared that lust would be masked for love
She came in my life like a storm
my fears my dark cloud did not stand a chance to her wrath of what she radiated
she shed light into dreams i did not know exsisted
she put out her hand like an angel jesus sent himself
fears can control the mind no matter how much you fight them
created from people in my past
not knowing if what i feel is fear or my gut watching out for me
the answers remain in the silence
  

~CASPERS EXPRESSION